College Application

Dear, Collage Recruitment Criticizer

     I am writing this letter to you to get into college. I don't know why, seeming how you will probably end up being my employee. I am the most intelligent person in the world. My name is Ayrton Mantha, but most people of known me as the man who parted the seas. The man of mysteries some call me. Stealthy as a spy, deadly like a scorpion, and as lovable as a teddy bear. I am the life of the party that I never attended. I do Ironman in 4 hours. I read the Harry Potter series in a day. Jackie Chan travels around the world in 80 days, I do it in a week.

     I am awesome. That's what people tell me. I have travelled to space in a shuttle that I designed while working at NASA. I am a man of many faces, happy, sad, even angry. I won the lifetime achievement award... twice. Nothing can hurt me. I bungee jump without the bungee. I drive without a seat belt. I mountain climb without ropes. I do not do anything a certain way. I am what I am. I don't know what a schedule is, even though I created them. Today I will swim with sharks. Tomorrow is tomorrow. I don't know what I will do the next day.  The discovery channel has a week for sharks. Sharks have a week for me.

     I am an astonishing, ingenious and captivating person, yet no college has had the pleasure of accepting me into their institution.